Ho'oponopono: the four phrases and how to practise them

Some practices are complicated. Ho'oponopono is not. It asks for four short sentences and a willingness to be honest with yourself. That simplicity is exactly why I love it, and why I practise it and share it with the people I work with.

Where Ho'oponopono comes from

Ho'oponopono is a traditional Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. The word itself means "to make right" or "to correct". It was originally practised within families and communities, guided by Hawaiian healers and elders, the kahuna lapa'au, to settle conflict and restore harmony.

In the twentieth century, Morrnah Simeona (1913 to 1992), a Hawaiian kahuna, adapted the traditional ritual into a form that a person could practise alone, for their own healing and growth. Later, Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len shared it around the world, especially the simple version most people know today: four phrases, repeated.

The four phrases

• I'm sorry. Acknowledging that something inside you, an old hurt, a habit or a belief, has helped create the situation you are in. This is not blame. It is taking ownership.
• Please forgive me. Asking for release, from the other person, from life, or from yourself.
• Thank you. Gratitude for the lesson, and for the chance to let it go.
• I love you. Returning to love, which is where healing settles.

You don't have to say them to anyone in particular. Many people say them to themselves, to their own inner child, or simply into the situation that is troubling them.

A simple way to begin

1. Sit somewhere quiet and take three slow breaths.
2. Bring to mind one thing that feels heavy: a quarrel, a regret, a fear or a pattern that keeps repeating.
3. Repeat the four phrases slowly, silently or aloud: I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.
4. Keep going for a few minutes, or for a set number of rounds if you like counting on a mala.
5. Finish with a breath, and notice how you feel, without judging it.

Practise daily for a few weeks. Some people feel lighter straight away. For others it is a slow softening. Both are normal.

Releasing and attracting

I think of Ho'oponopono as making space. When we hold on to resentment, guilt or old stories, there is little room left for anything new. As you release what you have been carrying, it often becomes easier to welcome what you do want: calmer relationships, clearer decisions, more peace with yourself.

In the video above I walk through the practice, the prayer and how I use it for releasing and attracting.

What it is not

Ho'oponopono is a spiritual practice for reflection and self-healing. It doesn't replace therapy, medical care or legal advice, and it never asks you to stay in a situation that harms you. Forgiveness can include firm boundaries.

If you'd like support

If something feels too heavy to work through alone, we can look at it together. My Reiki healing sessions are a gentle place to release what you are holding, and you are always welcome to send me a message first.