Sarva Pitru Amavasya: simple tarpan and rituals for your ancestors

Sarva Pitru Amavasya is the new moon that closes Pitru Paksha, the fortnight of the ancestors. It is the one day on which all our ancestors are remembered together, including those whose death anniversaries we don't know. Families offer water, food and prayers, thank those who came before them, and bid them a loving goodbye until next year.

I also see it as a day to ask. Our ancestors carry wisdom as well as blessings, and this is a beautiful time to ask your lineage for guidance.

Ask your lineage for guidance

The heart of this day is gratitude. Before any ritual, take a few quiet minutes to:

1. Sit facing south, the direction traditionally linked with the ancestors.
2. Bring to mind the people of your family line, those you knew and those you never met.
3. Thank them for the gifts you carry: your strengths, your values, the opportunities their struggles made possible.
4. Ask, simply and sincerely, for guidance and wisdom in one area of your life.
5. Bid them goodbye with love.

It takes only a few minutes, and anyone can do it, including students and people away from home.

What is tarpan?

Tarpan means "satisfying" or "offering". Traditionally it is an offering of water, often mixed with black sesame seeds, poured with prayers for the ancestors. The water is usually offered from cupped hands, letting it flow out over the side of the palm between the thumb and index finger, while facing south. Kusha grass is often used too.

If your family has its own tarpan or shraddha tradition, please follow it, ideally with a priest or an elder who knows the customs.

Tarpan according to your birthdate

Alongside the traditional offering, I like to bring in numerology. Each birth number, or life path number, is linked to a planet, and each planet has its own colours, grains and energies. A tarpan offering that matches your number is a way of making the ritual personal to you. You can find your number by adding the digits of the day you were born, as I explain in how to calculate your life path number.

Whichever form you choose, the intention matters more than the details. Offer with gratitude and a calm mind.

Simple rituals for every Amavasya

These can be done on Sarva Pitru Amavasya or on any new moon. Choose whatever resonates with you.

• Light a diya or candle for your ancestors at your ancestral altar, in the south or south-west of your home, or outside your home facing south. Thank all of them.
• Write them a letter. Acknowledge their challenges and their unfulfilled desires, and thank them for the gifts of your lineage. Keep the letter near their photograph for a while, then burn it safely and let the ashes go to the wind, releasing the ancestral baggage.
• Speak to salt water. Mix salt into a glass of water. Tell the water all your worries and the patterns you see repeating through the generations: illnesses, habits, struggles. Leave it overnight and flush it away in the morning.

Ancestral healing, as I understand it, follows a few steps: acknowledge your ancestors, connect with them, heal the wounds, celebrate their triumphs, ask for forgiveness and give forgiveness, take guidance from their stories, be the bridge between past and future, and own your legacy. It is a journey, not a destination.

The heart of any ritual is action

I shared this during Pitru Paksha 2025, when Sarva Pitru Amavasya fell on 21 September alongside a solar eclipse. The message holds every year.

The most important part of any ritual is not the burning or the writing. Burn to release. Journal to shift your energy. But then it is the action you take that brings change.

Pitru Paksha leads straight into Navratri, and I love to carry the work forward: kill nine negatives and attract nine positives, one theme for each of the nine days. Recognise the pattern, take a corrective action, and repeat. A new you, in real life, emerges with Maa Durga's blessings. Do it to believe it.

I have written more about this ritual in my post on the Pitra Paksh ritual.

A gentle note

These are spiritual practices for gratitude and reflection. They don't replace your family's formal rites, or medical or professional help for health and family difficulties. Please use fire safely and never leave a flame unattended.

If you'd like support

If you notice a pattern repeating through your family, such as money worries, health struggles or relationship difficulties, we can look at whether there is an ancestral block and how to heal it, so you can receive the gifts your ancestors left you. You can book a Lal Kitab consultation or send me a message.